Setting Goals as a Couple

January brings all the goal setting and New Years Resolutions! Have you ever thought of setting goals as a couple? We love coming together at the beginning of each year to re-align as a couple. Setting goals as a couple is just as important as setting goals individually. 

In the past, we have set goals in specific categories: social, physical, intellectual, financial and spiritual. As we reviewed our goals from 2021, we realized we are setting too many goals. Too many categories with too many goals in each category. The other problem we run into is that after we set the goal, sometimes we don’t even look at the goals again throughout the year. 

This year we decided to do things differently. We’ve chosen two categories to focus on. In those categories we are taking baby steps to set us up for success. We are setting quarterly goals to help us stay on track. To make sure we actually think about our goals and stay accountable we have put a goal check in date at the end of each quarter on our calendar. This will remind us to stay focused and we will also be discussing the goals throughout the year. We liked this idea more as it will push us to have a quarterly check in on our goals throughout the year and keep us on track. We want to set ourselves up for success, not failure, and we’ve definitely been setting ourselves up for failure in past years. 

There are so many different ways to set goals as a couple and I don’t think there are any right or wrong. It’s something you and your spouse need to decide together. We are switching things up this year and hope to see better change. 

Wondering what goals we've set in the past?

Are you wanting to set goals in some of these categories but don’t know where to start? Let me share some of what we’ve done in the past. 

Social Goals as a Couple

The category we’ve always done well in and accomplished with ease is our social category. It comes naturally to us. We are both very social, extraverted, outgoing people and we love spending time with others. We’ve decided this does not need to be a main focus of ours this year as we already do it without putting the effort in. That being said, we’ve got some ideas for you if you are wanting to push yourself socially this year.

Invite someone over for dinner once a month. 

We love having people over for dinner! The year we had this as our goal we had so much fun! We focused on inviting people that we didn’t see regularly. We invited old roommates, mission companions, friends that we hadn’t seen in awhile… it felt so good to reconnect with others and have them in our home. This is something we’ve continued to do, not monthly, but frequently. 

Double date or group date once a month.

There are so many fun dates out there to do with another couple or couples. Stay tuned for our top 10 double dates in Utah blog post coming soon. 


Physical Goals as a Couple

This category has proven difficult for us over the years. Both Collin and myself love to be active and it’s rare that we are sitting at home. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we are doing things to better ourselves physically. We have set many goals in the past to run half marathons, etc. etc. and they just haven’t happened. We really struggle with motivation with those types of things. It’s time to be more realistic and set some goals we could actually achieve. 

Lights out between 10:30pm-11:00pm on weekdays.

We are NIGHT OWLS! It is very difficult for us to go to sleep at night and even more difficult for us to wake up in the morning. We’ve tried pushing ourselves in the past to wake up early but the first step is to get to bed at night. 

Buy at least 5 fruits and vegetables from the store each week.

We are a fruit loving family! Vegetables… not so much. We’ve set this goal in the past and it may make a comeback. Focusing each week on putting at least 5 fruits and vegetables in the cart at least gets them into our house. Then it’s up to us to get them into our bodies and feed them to our children as well. 

Intellectual Goals as a Couple

This has always been one of my favorite categories to set goals in as a couple. It’s fun to come up with ways to push ourselves to grow intellectually. 

Read a parenting/business/personal development book together. 

We are both avid readers, although we listen to audiobooks rather than read books. We also enjoy listening to books together but often find that we enjoy fantasy and fiction. Pushing ourselves to read other types of books together is really enjoyable and it’s interesting to discuss.

Write in our Connection Journal at least once a month.

If you haven’t heard of Promptly Journals, let me do a quick overview. Promptly Journals has a variety of journals for individuals, couples, parents & children, children, siblings, etc. They all have different things they focus on. We have the Connection Journal which provides the same prompt for each of us to answer. We then get to discuss our answers and grow closer together as a couple. If you ever choose to purchase from Promptly Journals, be sure to use the code “AVERAGEDATERS” to save some money. 

Listen to a podcast together.

This is a goal we set one year, but never did. It’s still one that interests me and we may revisit it at some point. . 


Financial Goals as a Couple

Everyone does different things with their finances and there are a lot of opinions out there. We are not experts when it comes to finances, but we’ve found what works best for us and it’s allowed us to save money and provide for our needs as well as some wants. 

Choose a set percentage of money that gets transferred to different accounts each month after a paycheck. 

We’ve done this since the beginning of our marriage. Each time a paycheck hits our bank account, a certain percentage goes to savings, a vacation fund, checking, etc. 

Set up a vacation fund.

This was the best thing we ever did. You don’t have to put a ton of money in for it to grow. 5% of every paycheck is transferred to our vacation fund. We’ve been able to go on vacations only using the money in that account because of how quickly it grows when you are consistently saving the money. 

Buy a house!

In 2021, we set the goal to buy a house! We purchased our house in March of 2021 and were so excited to have accomplished that goal so quickly (although it had been in the works for quite some time). If you are interested in buying a house in Utah, send us a DM on Instagram and Collin would be happy to help you out. He is a real estate agent and is the President of Key Renter Salt Lake, a property management company where they manage hundreds of rental properties throughout the valley. 


Spiritual Goals as a Couple

We have not put as much effort into this category as we’d like to and hope to focus harder on it in 2022. We attend The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints each Sunday, and we also both serve in different callings within our congregation. But we don’t feel we put the effort in during the week to grow spiritually. Here are some recommendations for spiritual goals we’ve set in the past and currently.

Read one page from the Book of Mormon with Harley each night at bedtime. 

We used to do this but when we moved, things got packed, we got out of the habit, and we never started it back up. We read 2-3 book with Harley every night as part of her bedtime routine. We’d like to get back into the habit of reading 1 page from the scriptures and 2 books each night. 

One Sunday a month go to the temple grounds with the kids.

Harley absolutely loves going to the temple grounds. We sometimes take a soccer ball or frisbee and play for a little while when the weather is nice. It’s a great activity on Sunday when you’re trying to pass the time and fosters conversation centered on Jesus Christ. 

Listen to a weekly podcast following the Come Follow Me program from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

We listened to some podcasts on and off this past year centered around the Come Follow Me program but didn’t do this regularly. We hope to make this a habit this year. Some recommendations of podcasts are: Follow Him, Unshaken, Don’t Miss This.

Let's wrap this up...

There are so many different ways to set goals, types of goals to set, etc. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it! I am confident that when you and your spouse come together to work toward a specific goal, your relationship will grow as well. Set yourselves up for success as you go through this process. 

Happy Dating,


Is one of your goals to go on more dates this year? Read our "2022 Date Night Bucket List" post to get some ideas of what you could do!

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